Veronica Loughlin

Veronica (Naphan) Loughlin of Mountain passed away at the Ottawa Civic Hospital on Fri., May 25, 2007. She was 75.
She was the beloved wife of the late Bob Loughlin, and proud mother of Gary of Mountain; Linda (Kerry Carnegie) of Kemptville; Gerald (Marg), and Connie (Peter Brogan), all of Mountain. She was best friend to her grandchildren Irena Morley, Shawn (Charmaine), Kyle (Wendy), and Amber Carnegie; Stephanie (Casey Redmond), and Brett (Jenn) Loughlin; and Lisa (Jason) and Craig Brogan. She was the great-grandmother of Dawson, Wylie and Owen. She was also survived by her sister Marge Arcand. She was predeceased by brothers Elmer, Earl, and Bernard Naphan, and by her sister Marjorie Graham.
Bob and Veronica were married when she was just 18 years old. They started a family right away, and lived on the family homestead where she became a primary caregiver to her aging in-laws. This in itself was quite an undertaking ­ being so young, adjusting to married life, and having two children within the first two years of marriage. To add to the equation, there was a family farm business that involved a lot of labour from every available pair of hands, as well as many neighbours that were hired to help. In those days, the farm hands were provided with meals, prepared by Veronica. Over the years many people have remarked about the wonderful big meals that Veronica served them. There may be 30 people for dinner on any given day, being served in shifts so there was always a crew of potato pickers still in the field or a group in the wood shed packing asparagus to be delivered to the market. Veronica was also the truck driver, delivering the asparagus to Ottawa for 5 am before the market opened, or trucking potatoes to Quattrocchi's in Smiths Falls.
As Bob's father aged, and after his mother had a stroke and was paralysed, Veronica's duties became more onerous. She had to care for Grandma Loughlin, bathing, toileting, and feeding her until her passing. Few women at the age of 25 or 30 could deal with or would accept these commitments today.
Perhaps it was this early experience that inspired her to go back to school as a grandmother, and get some nursing qualifications. Graduating and wearing that cap was probably one of her proudest moments ­ and so it should be!
She worked many years at Kemptville District Hospital ­ on switchboard, as a ward clerk, and mostly in emergency. Several staff said what a pleasure it was to work with her, and several folks told about how well they were treated by her at emerg. One special story comes from a granddaughter whose close friend was given the name Veronica, after a nurse who was kind to her mother during delivery. Veronica had a strong work ethic, and she not only preached it, she was a living example of hard work.
While in ICU her last week, a chaplin came to visit and asked if she was a loving mother or a mean mother. He seemed surprised when a daughter responded that Veronica was a mean mother. You see, she wasn't always kind, caring, and loving. She worked hard, her expectations were high, and she accepted nothing but perfection when it came to her home. Her children were expected to keep the place neat and tidy at all times, pick up after themselves, do the dishes, make the beds, dust the furniture, help prepare the meals, and work on the farm as well. Then she expected them to do their school work too. She made them all learn to cook. If company was coming they were to mind their manners, and be the perfect host or hostess. She made them eat proper meals, and potato chips were a treat, not a vegetable. All that was bearable, but she also insisted on knowing where her children were going as teenagers, and who they were with, and expected them to call home if they were going to be late. She expected them to tell the truth and suffer the consequences, and if they could go out on Saturday night, then they could go to church on Sunday morning. They were reminded to stand straight, don't bite your nails, and if you didn't feel well, her nursing and nurturing came through. The cure was always "go and get some fresh air." Now, how did she expect "fresh air" to cure cuts and bruises, and scrapes and sprains? Yes, she was mean. Or perhaps what was thought to be mean at the time really was love. In today's world it is what we call tough love.
That's why her four children have raised their kids with the same meanness. They figure if Veronica's method of being mean created a close knit family with that same drive and stamina, then maybe she knew what she was doing after all.
She worked hard but she also knew how to have fun. The last 20 years, most of the fun times were at the cottage, which she loved so much. Her grandchildren had many good times with her at the cottage, and especially enjoyed "grandkids day" when they all gathered together with Grandma and did things that parents didn't usually allow their children to do, like staying up late, eating lots of junk food, and just being kids.
Her children and grandchildren would like to say thank you for the hugs and prayers, food and flowers, and donations to charities in her memory. Thank you to Grant Brown and staff for once again making this as gentle as possible for us. Thank you to Al MacEachern and Fran Brauneisen for co-ordinating the choir and lovely music at the funeral service, and to Rev. Shim for the special Mass. Thank you to all four grandsons and four granddaughters for sharing the task of acting as pallbearers. Grandma would be proud of each of you!
Thank you Mom, Grandma, for all you have taught us and shared with us. You will forever be in our hearts. God Bless!